How to Make It Snow.

Well, children, if you're reading this, you've probably attended at least a few years of school, which means that you probably know that snow days are the best thing in the universe ever. But how can a mere human compel a snow day into existence? Just this week, your father broke the code. Turns out, there is a complex series of dance moves that will -- almost without fail -- cause winter weather to render roads unsafe for school buses. Here are those moves:

Move number one. Open your arms to the great sky, inviting its frozen majesty unto earth.

Move number two. Wave your hands across your body, signaling to the sky that "nothing will hinder the earthward progression of your frozen majesty."

Move number three. Rock your arms in a sea-wave-like motion, demonstrating for the sky how high you would like the snow to drift. Simply do this for one hour before bed, eat all your vegetables, and when you wake up in the morning...
Voila. Snow day.


(What, it didn't work? You must not have eaten all your vegetables.)