Children, one of the chief differences between myself and your father is our eating styles. I, for one, am a "balanced meal" type of person. For example, this is what I eat for breakfast (almost) every morning: a banana, oatmeal, peanut butter, and coffee. Your father's breakfast, on the other hand, looks more like this:
This is called "foraging." I'm no evolutionary biologist, but I theorize that this behavior may have something to do with his innate need to somehow "conquer" a meal before eating it. His favorites are things he pulls from the very back shelves. He also likes the thrill of "dominating" whatever he eats:
Manners? I'm working on it. Maybe by the time you children are alive... (though I'm not especially hopeful).
He's what I like to call "hapless but lovable."
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