Things That Matter, Things That Don't.

In the hustle and bustle of your future world (which I assume is hustlier and bustlier than our current world, unless it's one of those post-apocalyptic worlds you read about in Cormac McCarthy novels, in which case it's a very bleak world indeed and this message, along with the rest of the Internet, is forever lost to history), you probably sometimes find it hard to sift what's really important from what's just some capitalist's way of making you feel bad about yourself.

So here's a quick primer, from your loving parents.

1. Dental hygiene matters. No matter how hard you try, dear children, you will not be able to grow new teeth (unless you're reading this before you've grown your adult teeth, in which case you may disregard that last statement, but I would appreciate it if you would come back and re-regard it after those adult teeth come in). So take care of the ones you have. As you can see, I really have been flossing my teeth since before you were alive, as I so often boast.


2. Keeping your sweaters nicely folded does not*. Especially if your closet is in an out-of-the-way place in the house.
3. Putting on the winter sheets matters. You'll be astonished by how much warmer they'll keep you at night! (Your dad and I can help with this if you're still too small to make your own bed.)
4. Having a beautiful hat-lamp-and-scarf sculpture does not matter. Yes, it may be the piece-de-la-resistance of your living room, but at the end of the day, it's just a remarkably tasteful work of art that wins you friends and strikes awe into the hearts of your opponents.


I hope that helped clear things up!

* Caveat: if one of you is a total neat-freak and another one of you has to share a room with that first one, I suggest you work out some mutually acceptable arrangement, in which keeping sweaters neat may or may not matter. You decide.