The Rumors Are True.

Yes, future children, I'm sorry to say that the murmurings you've heard on the street are not unfounded. Your father and I recently succumbed to the pressure of our contemporaries and brought (gasp) a television into our home.


However, we feel we maintained a modicum of dignity in the affair: we got this TV for free, from a friend who had plans to discard it (even though it's still got plenty of life in it, let me tell you!). This, of course, means we did NOT contribute to capitalism or corporations in any way. Except when we had to buy an antenna and digital converter box so that we could actually watch it. And there weren't any locally owned boutiquey stores selling hemp-based antennae and converter boxes, so we had to order those from Amazon. (Shudder.)

Oh, and we only get CBS and ABC. And three channels about Jesus, one of which is in Spanish*.


*I must say, this last channel really gives us trouble, because we of course don't approve of religious programming on principle, but we do approve of programming that promotes multiculturalism, so we're absolutely torn apart trying to decide whether or not to detest it. And that, my children, is how TV ruins people's lives.