Stretching It.

As you undoubtedly know by now, children, your bloodline is cursed with both severe injury-proneness (Clark side) and extreme clumsiness (Lemieux side), which, we can all agree, is not the best combination for people with limited health insurance. Perhaps these traits should have been a warning sign against our having you in the first place, but we just figured if our genes were that awful they wouldn't have come with the velcro-like substance that allows them to stick together and form new humans*.

Anyway, just in case you thought you were the only ones who ever had to sit on the sidelines** icing your hips while all your friends had a raucously good time, here's some evidence to the contrary.

You see, your grandfather has stress fractures in his feet. And now as part of his recovery, he has to do elaborate stretches every day instead of running around the house and playing outside.

(Does he have to do them on the dining room table? I don't ask.)

*My understanding of genetics is cursory at best.

**Of the Scrabble court

Big Stomach, Small Stomach.

Sometimes I play a game where I photograph myself in two different ways. For example, this is my stomach pushed out (what I like to call "big stomach").



This is my stomach sucked in ("small stomach").



Notice how my feet come into view in the second picture, as if they were the stars hidden behind a once-full moon. Or stomach. Also, notice how I can make my foot bones stand out like a witch's finger bones. Isn't the human body fascinating?