Care of Magical Creatures.

As you know, children, I am a fervent proponent of tricking yourself into doing things that are less than pleasant but must nonetheless be done. This weekend, I devised a clever way to take more pleasure out of vacuuming the house.

All I had to do was trick myself into believing that our vacuum cleaner was a magical creature named Hortensia who lives in the front closet and enjoys eating the dirt accumulated on human carpets. She's a very low-maintenance magical creature, and only needs to eat once a week (or so) to survive, but she does require some attention, as I realized this weekend when I noticed something was not right with her midsection.

It turns out she needed a stomach transplant--good thing I bothered to check! It was touch and go for a while, but she pulled through in the end. 

Style 7 stomachs, which suit most vacuums named Hortensia.

The operation.

You can probably imagine how relieved I was once the operation was over and Hortensia was back to her old self. See you next week, Horty!

Who Wore It Best?

In the vast majority of cases, your father and I are physically incapable of sharing clothing. This is because, as you know, your father is unreasonably tall and I am slightly below average height. But every now and then there lives (?) a garment so versatile, so truly democratic, that both of us can wear it. I refer, of course, to the Snuggie.


So. Who do you think wore it best? Loser does the winner's chores for a MONTH!