Why Music Can Be Dangerous.

Children, you may think of music as a magical, otherworldly gift brought to us by the gods of wind and rhythm. And that's mostly true. But it's important for you to know that music also has a darker side.


For example, if a person put on some South African jazz while she was folding the laundry of a Saturday morning and found herself so energized by the melody that she couldn't help but dance along, that would be all right.



But if that melody then inspired her to twirl around and around, she would become queasy, a feeling that could linger all day, thus minimizing her ability to comparison-shop for produce and dairy-free condiments and prolonging the period of time in which she sauntered around in her striped pajamas.

So just keep your eyes out for these situations, children. Forewarned is forearmed.

A Cautionary Tale.

Sometimes, in the middle of winter, the only thing that keeps a person sane is to crank up the Simon & Garfunkel and dance around the kitchen while dinner's cooking.















But sometimes when that person dances too hard (and particularly if that person favors a very arm-swingy type of dancing), there will be an accident of sorts.














Oops.

Surely, there's no environmental factor that might have directly led to this entirely preventable accident...right?














WAIT A MINUTE!