Unacceptable Sexual Preferences.

Children, I have decided to start a new feature on this blog. It will involve my deconstructing an advertisement aimed at horse enthusiasts in order to highlight the dangerous message of sexuality with horses that the equine industry is so bent on communicating to young women.

This ad appeared in the March 2012 issues of Horse & Rider, and was one of those gimmicky ads that required the reader to fold one page over to get the full picture. Well, guess what. I bought into it and folded the page--and I have to say I was sorry I did.

Notice the expression on the woman's face, of extreme pleasure and intimacy. Notice, too, that the horse does not have an expression on his face, because he is a horse and is not capable of having sexual feelings for human women.

But even if the images in this ad left room for doubt about its message ("oh, maybe they're just good friends who wash each other in soft focus"), the text does not. At the top of the ad, we see "Bringing you closer to your horse," and "It's your time together." The magazine reader is encouraged to fold the page over with the words "Fold back this side of the page to complete the connection." Really, Vetrolin? You don't think that's a little obvious?


Apparently not. Because the block of text below the horse's (completely indifferent) head reads as follows: "Whether it is a soothing bath or an invigorating liniment rubdown, its distinctive menthol fragrance enriches the relationship with your horse."

Listen. I'm not saying that being a horse enthusiast is wrong. All I'm saying is that horse enthusiasts should stop pretending that they're just friends with their horses, and confess that they are passionately, sexually attracted to these creatures. And when they're ready to admit their true feelings, I hope that they are sure to use protection (I'm not talking about helmets).